<!--array(29) {
  ["title"]=>
  string(22) "Chlapík na diskotéke"
  ["id"]=>
  string(5) "12771"
  ["author"]=>
  string(3) "442"
  ["added"]=>
  string(19) "2015-10-06 02:00:01"
  ["category"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["permission"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["text"]=>
  string(66) "Na diskotéke:
- Dobré svaly, čo berieš?
- Vstupné, debil..."
  ["votes"]=>
  string(2) "27"
  ["score"]=>
  string(2) "97"
  ["visits"]=>
  string(4) "1187"
  ["original"]=>
  string(19) "2015-07-01 11:13:07"
  ["duels_total"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["duels_won"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["parent"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["featured_category"]=>
  string(3) "137"
  ["featured_category_title"]=>
  string(74) "Neprehliadnite: Chuck Norris a hlášky o jeho jedinečných schopnostiach"
  ["featured_category_button"]=>
  string(18) "Chuck Norris vtipy"
  ["name"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["type"]=>
  string(4) "joke"
  ["homepage_alias"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["homepage_priority"]=>
  string(2) "50"
  ["duels_alias"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["duels_priority"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["weight"]=>
  string(3) "118"
  ["top"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["in_list"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["path"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["active"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["rating"]=>
  string(6) "3.5926"
}
--><!--array(29) {
  ["title"]=>
  string(13) "Dvaja turisti"
  ["id"]=>
  string(5) "11055"
  ["author"]=>
  string(4) "1002"
  ["added"]=>
  string(19) "2013-08-24 02:00:00"
  ["category"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["permission"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["text"]=>
  string(149) "Idú dvaja slovenskí turisti v Tatrách pod lavínovým previsom a jeden hovorí:
- Dávaj bacha. Teraz stačí slovo po česky a jebne to na nás."
  ["votes"]=>
  string(2) "10"
  ["score"]=>
  string(2) "34"
  ["visits"]=>
  string(4) "1157"
  ["original"]=>
  string(19) "2013-08-21 15:35:40"
  ["duels_total"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["duels_won"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["parent"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["featured_category"]=>
  string(3) "137"
  ["featured_category_title"]=>
  string(74) "Neprehliadnite: Chuck Norris a hlášky o jeho jedinečných schopnostiach"
  ["featured_category_button"]=>
  string(18) "Chuck Norris vtipy"
  ["name"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["type"]=>
  string(4) "joke"
  ["homepage_alias"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["homepage_priority"]=>
  string(2) "50"
  ["duels_alias"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["duels_priority"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["weight"]=>
  string(3) "118"
  ["top"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["in_list"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["path"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["active"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["rating"]=>
  string(6) "3.4000"
}
--><!--array(29) {
  ["title"]=>
  string(27) "Sherlok Holmes a Dr. Watson"
  ["id"]=>
  string(4) "9221"
  ["author"]=>
  string(3) "442"
  ["added"]=>
  string(19) "2012-02-18 02:59:59"
  ["category"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["permission"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["text"]=>
  string(787) "Sherlock Holmes a Dr. Watson sa vybrali stanovať. Na mieste rozložili stan a ľahli si späť. O niekoľko hodín budí Holmes svojho verného kamaráta.
- Drahý Watson, pozrite sa na oblohu a povedzte mi, čo vidíte.
- Vidím milióny hviezd, - odpovedá Watson.
- A čo vám to hovorí?
Watson rozmýšľa a potom hovorí.
- Z astronomického hľadiska by som povedal, že existujú milióny galaxií a miliardy planét. Z astrologického pohľadu vidím, že saturn je v znamení leva. Čo sa času týka, môj odhad je 3:15. Teologicky videné sa ukazuje, že Boh je všemohúci a my sme malí a nepodstatní. Meteorológ by povedal, že zajtra budeme mať pekné počasie. A čo hovorí obloha vám, priateľu?
Holmes potrasie hlavou.
- Watson, niekto nám ukradol stan. "
  ["votes"]=>
  string(1) "4"
  ["score"]=>
  string(2) "16"
  ["visits"]=>
  string(4) "1657"
  ["original"]=>
  string(19) "2011-11-29 21:19:19"
  ["duels_total"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["duels_won"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["parent"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["featured_category"]=>
  string(3) "137"
  ["featured_category_title"]=>
  string(74) "Neprehliadnite: Chuck Norris a hlášky o jeho jedinečných schopnostiach"
  ["featured_category_button"]=>
  string(18) "Chuck Norris vtipy"
  ["name"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["type"]=>
  string(4) "joke"
  ["homepage_alias"]=>
  string(6) "Haluze"
  ["homepage_priority"]=>
  string(2) "50"
  ["duels_alias"]=>
  string(0) ""
  ["duels_priority"]=>
  string(1) "0"
  ["weight"]=>
  string(3) "118"
  ["top"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["in_list"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["path"]=>
  string(3) "226"
  ["active"]=>
  string(1) "1"
  ["rating"]=>
  string(6) "4.0000"
}
--><?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><!DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd">
<html xmlns="http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml" xml:lang="sk" lang="sk" prefix="og: http://ogp.me/ns#">
<head>
    <meta property="fb:admins" content="557365109" /><meta property="fb:page_id" content="193662187999" />    <base href="https://www.vychytane.sk/"/>
<!--    <base href="https://localhost/vychytane-old/"/>-->

    <meta http-equiv="Content-Type" content="text/html; charset=UTF-8"/>
    <meta name="description" content="Chuck Norris, jeden z najznámejších ľudí na svete, podobne ako aj jeho vtipy. Zistite čo všetko Chuck Norris dokáže! Najviac najlepších vtipov  o Chuckovi Norrisovi nájdete len na vychytane.sk"/>
    <meta name="keywords" content="ideo, videá, obrázok, obrázky, vtipy, zaujímavosti, citát, citáty, SMS, zábava, hudba, vychytávka, vychytané, najlepšie, humor, narodeniny, sviatky, blahoželania"/>

    <title>Vychytané.sk - Vtipy - Chuck Norris</title>

    <link rel="icon" type="image/png" href="https://www.vychytane.sk/simg_new/head/logo_sd.png"/>
    <link rel="icon" type="image/x-icon" href="https://www.vychytane.sk/favicon.ico"/>
    <link href="rss.xml" rel="alternate" type="application/rss+xml" title="Vychytané.sk - RSS"/>
    
			<link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="styles_responsive.min.css"/>
		<meta name="viewport" content="width=device-width"/>
	
    <!--[if lte IE 7]>
    <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="styles_ie.css"/>    <![endif]--><!--[if lte IE 8]>
    <link rel="stylesheet" type="text/css" href="styles_ie8.css"/>    <![endif]-->

    <script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/jquery-2.1.0.min.js"></script>


	<link rel="apple-touch-icon" href="/site_img/apple-touch-icon-57×57-precomposed.png" />
	<link rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="72x72" href="/site_img/apple-touch-icon-72×72-precomposed.png" />
	<link rel="apple-touch-icon" sizes="114x114" href="/site_img/apple-touch-icon-114×114-precomposed.png" />

    <script type="application/javascript" async src="//pagead2.googlesyndication.com/pagead/js/adsbygoogle.js"></script>
    <script type="application/javascript">
        (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({
            google_ad_client: "ca-pub-6102871419553291",
            enable_page_level_ads: true
        });
    </script>
</head>
<body class="detailPage vtipy">
<div id="tooltip-holder"></div>
<a class="blind" href="/k/137/chuck-norris/#hlavne-menu">Preskočiť na hlavné menu</a>
<a class="blind" href="/k/137/chuck-norris/#podkategorie">Preskočiť na podkategórie</a>
<a class="blind" href="/k/137/chuck-norris/#obsah">Preskočiť na hlavný obsah</a>
<div id="outer" style="width:100%;height:100%;cursor:default">
    <div id="site" style="cursor:default" title="">
                <!-- BEGIN TOP BANNER -->
        <div id="banner-top">
                    </div>
        <!-- END TOP BANNER -->        <!-- BEGIN HEADER -->
        <div id="container-header">
            <div id="header-image">
                <a id="logo" href="https://www.vychytane.sk" title="Vychytané.sk"><img src="simg_new/head/logo.png" alt="Vychytané.sk"/></a>
                <a id="sublogo" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk">
                                            <img src="simg_new/head/joke.png" alt="vtipy"/>
                                    </a>

                <div id="right_block">
                    <div id="header-info">
                        Štvrtok, 05.08.2021<!--<span id="time-container"></span>-->, meniny má Hortenzia<!--<script src="js/time.js" language="javascript" type="text/javascript"></script>-->
                    </div>


                    <!-- vyhladavanie -->
                    <div id="search">
                        <div id="namedays">Blahoželania na <a href="https://smsky.vychytane.sk/k/93/meniny/" title="Meninové blahoželania"><b>meniny</b></a> /
                            <a href="https://smsky.vychytane.sk/k/94/narodeniny/" title="Narodeninové blahoželania"><b>narodeniny</b></a></div>
                        <form action="fulltext.html" method="post">
                            <input type="text" name="query" id="queryTop" size="30" value="Vyhľadávanie" onfocus="if (this.value=='Vyhľadávanie') this.value='';" onblur="if(this.value=='') this.value='Vyhľadávanie';"/>
                            <input type="submit" value="" id="btn" name="submitSearch" onclick="if (document.getElementById('queryTop').value==''){alert('Nezadali ste text vyhľadávania!'); return false;}"/><br/>
                            <input type="hidden" name="table[]" value="cite" />
<input type="hidden" name="table[]" value="joke" />
<input type="hidden" name="table[]" value="sms" />
<input type="hidden" name="table[]" value="text" />
<input type="hidden" name="table[]" value="postcard" />
                            <a id="adv_search" href="fulltext.html">rozšírené hľadanie</a>
                        </form>
                    </div>
                    <!-- koniec vyhladavania-->                    <!-- prihlasenie a registracia-->
                    <div id="header-login-register">
                        <!--<a href="/p/novinky.html">Novinky</a>&nbsp; - &nbsp;-->
                                            </div>
                </div>
                                <!-- koniec prihlasenie a registracia-->
            </div>
        </div>
        <!-- END HEADER -->

	<div id="container-main-menu">
		<a name="hlavne-menu" id="hlavne-menu" class="blind">Hlavne menu</a>
		<!--BEGIN MAIN_MENU--><ul><li id="home_link"><a href="https://www.vychytane.sk/" title="Všetko"><img onmouseover="this.src='simg_new/ctg_icons/home_active.png'"  onmouseout="this.src='simg_new/ctg_icons/home.png'" src="simg_new/ctg_icons/home.png" alt="Všetko"/></a></li><li class=''><a href="https://citaty.vychytane.sk/" title="Citáty">Citáty</a></li>
<li class='' id="active-main-item"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a></li>
<li class=''><a href="https://smsky.vychytane.sk/" title="SMSky">SMSky</a></li>
<li class='menu-responsive-hide'><a href="https://texty.vychytane.sk/" title="Texty">Texty</a></li>
<li><a class='menu-responsive-button' id='open-responsive-menu'><img src='simg_new/responsive-menu-arrow.png' > </a></li>
</ul><!--END MAIN_MENU--><ul class='responsive-submenu'><li class=''><a href="https://texty.vychytane.sk/" title="Texty">Texty</a></li>
<li><a href='https://vychytane.sk/fulltext.html' class='menu-search-icon' title='Vyhľadávanie'><img src='site_img/search-icon-white-small.png' > </a></li>
</ul>

<script>
$('#open-responsive-menu').click(function() {
  $('.responsive-submenu').toggleClass('open');
});

</script>
		<!--shop link--><span id="shop-link"><a href="https://darceky.vychytane.sk" title="Vychytané darčeky">Vychytané darčeky</a></span>
	</div>
	<!-- BEGIN MAIN -->
	<div id="container-main" >
		<div id="container-middle">
			<div class="responsive-show">
				<h1 id="header-content-top">Vtipy - Chuck Norris</h1>			</div>

			<!-- zaciatok bocne menu -->
			<div id="middle-left-pane">
				<a name="podkategorie" id="podkategorie" class="blind">Podkategorie</a>
				<div id="side-menu-title"  class="responsive-collapsed" onclick="$(this).toggleClass('responsive-collapsed')">Podkategórie</div><ul id="left-side-menu"><li class="active top open"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a><ul id="left-side-menu"></ul></li><li class="top hasChildren"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/232/murphyho-zakony/" title="Murphyho zákony">Murphyho zákony</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/226/haluze/" title="Haluze">Haluze</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/276/hlasky/" title="Hlášky">Hlášky</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/216/hadanky/" title="Hádanky">Hádanky</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/100/cierny-humor/" title="Čierny humor">Čierny humor</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/224/neslusne/" title="Neslušné">Neslušné</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/211/o-muzoch/" title="O mužoch">O mužoch</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/222/o-zenach/" title="O ženách">O ženách</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/139/o-blondinkach/" title="O blondínkach">O blondínkach</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/87/o-detoch/" title="O deťoch">O deťoch</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/223/o-svokrach/" title="O svokrách">O svokrách</a></li><li class="top"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/217/o-sexe/" title="O sexe">O sexe</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/83/alkohol/" title="Alkohol">Alkohol</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/86/auto-moto/" title="Auto moto">Auto moto</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/215/babky-a-dedkovia/" title="Babky a dedkovia">Babky a dedkovia</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/140/bankovnictvo/" title="Bankovníctvo">Bankovníctvo</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/128/kostol/" title="Kostol">Kostol</a></li><li class="hasChildren"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/219/medzinarodne/" title="Medzinárodné">Medzinárodné</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/220/nechutnosti/" title="Nechutnosti">Nechutnosti</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/225/o-cernochoch/" title="O černochoch">O černochoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/99/o-cestovani/" title="O cestovaní">O cestovaní</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/209/o-doktoroch/" title="O doktoroch">O doktoroch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/221/o-laske/" title="O láske">O láske</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/210/o-manzeloch/" title="O manželoch">O manželoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/67/o-mensinach/" title="O menšinách">O menšinách</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/213/o-policajtoch/" title="O policajtoch">O policajtoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/404/o-pravnikoch/" title="O právnikoch">O právnikoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/212/o-romoch/" title="O rómoch">O rómoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/218/o-somalcoch/" title="O somálcoch">O somálcoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/236/o-teroristoch/" title="O teroristoch">O teroristoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/138/o-vojakoch/" title="O vojakoch">O vojakoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/115/o-zahorakoch/" title="O záhorákoch">O záhorákoch</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/23/o-zvieratach/" title="O zvieratách">O zvieratách</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/237/politici/" title="Politici">Politici</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/24/pracovne/" title="Pracovné">Pracovné</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/25/pre-filozofov/" title="Pre filozofov">Pre filozofov</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/62/sport/" title="Šport">Šport</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/143/sudna-sien/" title="Súdna sieň">Súdna sieň</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/329/vyroky-zo-simpsonovcov/" title="Výroky zo simpsonovcov">Výroky zo simpsonovcov</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/214/zo-skoly/" title="Zo školy">Zo školy</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/114/zo-zivota/" title="Zo života">Zo života</a></li><li class=""><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/26/nezaradene/" title="Nezaradené">Nezaradené</a></li></ul><br />				<!-- START OF CACHED DATA [KEY=BESTCATEGORIES-JOKE] --><div id="best_categories">Najlepšie kategórie</div><span class="best_categories_links"><a href="http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris vtipy">Chuck Norris vtipy</a><a href="http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/232/murphyho-zakony/" title="Murphyho zákony">Murphyho zákony</a><a href="http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/100/cierny-humor/" title="Čierny humor - vtipy">Čierny humor - vtipy</a><a href="http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/83/alkohol/" title="Vtipy o alkohole">Vtipy o alkohole</a><a href="http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/214/zo-skoly/" title="Vtipy zo školy">Vtipy zo školy</a><!-- END OF CACHED DATA [KEY=BESTCATEGORIES-JOKE LAST_UPDATE=05.Aug.2021 19.24 VALID_UNTIL=06.Aug.2021 19.24] --><!-- START OF CACHED DATA [KEY=STATISTICS] --><div class="left_menu_title">Štatistiky</div><div class='items-count-wrapper'><div class="responsive-hidden">Počet príspevkov:<br /><span id="items-count">50 272</span>
		</div></div><!-- END OF CACHED DATA [KEY=STATISTICS LAST_UPDATE=05.Aug.2021 22.29 VALID_UNTIL=05.Aug.2021 22.34] -->			</div>
			<!-- koniec bocne menu -->				<!-- zaciatok jadro -->
			<div id="content" >
				<a name="obsah" id="obsah" class="blind">Hlavny obsah</a>
				<h1 id="header-content-top" class='responsive-hide'>Vtipy - Chuck Norris</h1>

				<div class="blind"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/">Najnovšie</a><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/videnia/">Najviac videní</a><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/hodnotenie/">Najlepšie hodnotenie</a><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/komentare/">Najviac komentárov</a></div><div id="filterholder"><select id="orderselect" style="left:-300px">
					  <option value="">Zoradenie príspevkov:</option>
					  <option value="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/">Najnovšie</option>
					  <option value="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/videnia/">Najviac zobrazení</option>
					  <option value="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/hodnotenie/">Najlepšie hodnotenie</option>
					  <option value="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/r/komentare/">Najviac komentárov</option>
					</select></center>
</div>

				<div class="placeholder"></div>
				
				<noscript>Váš prehliadač nepodporuje JavaScript, alebo ho má vypnutý. Niektoré funkcie preto nie sú dostupné, alebo nemusia fungovať správne.</noscript><!-- START OF CACHED DATA [KEY=FEATURED-137JOKE] --><div id="featured-desc">Chuck Norris, jeden z najznámejších ľudí na svete, podobne ako aj jeho vtipy. Zistite čo všetko Chuck Norris dokáže! Najviac najlepších <b>vtipov  o Chuckovi Norrisovi</b> nájdete len na <a href="http://www.vychytane.sk" title="Zábava na každý deň">vychytane.sk</a></div><!-- END OF CACHED DATA [KEY=FEATURED-137JOKE LAST_UPDATE=03.Aug.2021 18.49 VALID_UNTIL=06.Aug.2021 18.49] --><h2 class="listTitle">Najnovšie príspevky</h2><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13233/voldemort.html" title="Voldemort" >Voldemort</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13233/voldemort.html" title="Voldemort" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Voldemort" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris zlomil Voldemortovi nos.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13233">
            <span id="container-joke13233"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13233,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13233,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13233,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13233-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13233,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13233,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13233,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13233-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13233,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13233,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13233,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13233-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13233,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13233,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13233,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13233-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13233"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13233').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13233;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13233='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13233/voldemort.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13203/chuck-norris-v-krcme.html" title="Chuck Norris v krčme" >Chuck Norris v krčme</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13203/chuck-norris-v-krcme.html" title="Chuck Norris v krčme" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Chuck Norris v krčme" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck norris išiel do krčmy a pri bicykli si nechal papierik,"neodporúčam kradnúť CHUCK NORRIS." <br />O hodinu vyšiel z krčmy a uvidel lístok "neoporúčam naháňať PETER SAGAN."</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13203">
            <span id="container-joke13203"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13203,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13203,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13203,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13203-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13203,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13203,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13203,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13203-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13203,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13203,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13203,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13203-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13203,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13203,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13203,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13203-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13203"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13203').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13203;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13203='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13203/chuck-norris-v-krcme.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13096/neil-amstrong.html" title="Neil Amstrong" >Neil Amstrong</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13096/neil-amstrong.html" title="Neil Amstrong" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Neil Amstrong" /></a></div>    <p>Hovorí sa že Neil Amstrong je prvý človek ktorý bol na mesiaci.<br />Ale Chuck Norris tam bol aj tak skôr.​</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13096">
            <span id="container-joke13096"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13096,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13096,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13096,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13096-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13096,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13096,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13096,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13096-2"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13096,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13096,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13096,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13096-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13096,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13096,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13096,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13096-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13096"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13096').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13096;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13096='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13096/neil-amstrong.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13089/boj.html" title="Boj" >Boj</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13089/boj.html" title="Boj" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Boj" /></a></div>    <p> Chuck Norris raz bojoval sám so sebou a vyhral.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13089">
            <span id="container-joke13089"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13089,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13089,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13089,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13089-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13089,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13089,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13089,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13089-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13089,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13089,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13089,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13089-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13089,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13089,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13089,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13089-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13089"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13089').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13089;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13089='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13089/boj.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><br><h3 id="featured_title">Nie len Chuck Norris má vtipné hlášky</h3>
			<table id="featured_table">
			<tr><td><div class="featured"><b><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/12771/chlapik-na-diskoteke.html" title="Chlapík na diskotéke" >Chlapík na diskotéke</a></b><div class="text">Na diskotéke:<br />- Dobré svaly, čo berieš?<br />- Vstupné, debil......<br /></div><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/12771/chlapik-na-diskoteke.html" title="Chlapík na diskotéke" >Viac »</a></div></td><td><div class="featured"><b><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/11055/dvaja-turisti.html" title="Dvaja turisti" >Dvaja turisti</a></b><div class="text">Idú dvaja slovenskí turisti v Tatrách pod lavínovým previsom a jeden hovorí:<br />- Dávaj...<br /></div><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/11055/dvaja-turisti.html" title="Dvaja turisti" >Viac »</a></div></td><td><div class="featured"><b><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/9221/sherlok-holmes-a-dr--watson.html" title="Sherlok Holmes a Dr. Watson" >Sherlok Holmes a Dr. Watson</a></b><div class="text">Sherlock Holmes a Dr. Watson sa vybrali stanovať. Na mieste rozložili stan a ľahli si späť...<br /></div><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/9221/sherlok-holmes-a-dr--watson.html" title="Sherlok Holmes a Dr. Watson" >Viac »</a></div></td></tr><tr><td></td><td></td><td></td></tr></table><a class="black-button featured-category" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/226/haluze/">Haluze <img src="simg_new/ikonka-zobacik.png" alt=""/></a><div class="item"></div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13088/beh.html" title="Beh" >Beh</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13088/beh.html" title="Beh" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Beh" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris beží tak rýchlo, ze sa vidí zo zadu.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13088">
            <span id="container-joke13088"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13088,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13088,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13088,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13088-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13088,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13088,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13088,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13088-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13088,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13088,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13088,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13088-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13088,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13088,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13088,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13088-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13088"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13088').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13088;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13088='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13088/beh.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13087/tv.html" title="TV" >TV</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13087/tv.html" title="TV" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="TV" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris nepozerá TV, to TV pozerá Chucka Norrisa.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13087">
            <span id="container-joke13087"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13087,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13087,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13087,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13087-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13087,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13087,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13087,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13087-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13087,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13087,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13087,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13087-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13087,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13087,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13087,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13087-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13087"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13087').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13087;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13087='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13087/tv.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13084/sach.html" title="Šach" >Šach</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13084/sach.html" title="Šach" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Šach" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris dokázal dať v šachu gól iba s jedným esom.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13084">
            <span id="container-joke13084"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13084,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13084,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13084,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13084-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13084,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13084,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13084,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13084-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13084,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13084,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13084,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13084-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13084,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13084,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13084,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13084-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13084"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13084').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13084;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13084='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13084/sach.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13068/koktanie.html" title="Koktanie" >Koktanie</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13068/koktanie.html" title="Koktanie" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Koktanie" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris ako jediný dokáže koktať v posunkovej reči. </p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13068">
            <span id="container-joke13068"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13068,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13068,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13068,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13068-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13068,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13068,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13068,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13068-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13068,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13068,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13068,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13068-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13068,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13068,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13068,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13068-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13068"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13068').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13068;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13068='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13068/koktanie.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13065/ocean.html" title="Oceán" >Oceán</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13065/ocean.html" title="Oceán" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Oceán" /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Noriss vie preplávať kraulom oceán s jediným nádychom a založenými rukami.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13065">
            <span id="container-joke13065"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13065,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13065,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13065,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13065-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13065,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13065,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13065,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13065-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13065,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13065,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13065,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13065-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13065,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13065,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13065,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13065-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13065"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13065').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13065;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13065='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13065/ocean.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13054/horor.html" title="Horor" >Horor</a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13054/horor.html" title="Horor" ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Horor" /></a></div>    <p>V pekle majú jeden horor a volá sa; Diabla posadol Chuck Norris.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13054">
            <span id="container-joke13054"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13054,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13054,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13054,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13054-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13054,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13054,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13054,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13054-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13054,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13054,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13054,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13054-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13054,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13054,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13054,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13054-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13054"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13054').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13054;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13054='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13054/horor.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13053/kalkulacka.html" title="Kalkulačka " >Kalkulačka </a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13053/kalkulacka.html" title="Kalkulačka " ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Kalkulačka " /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris má v kalkulačke nainštalovaný windows.</p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13053">
            <span id="container-joke13053"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13053,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13053,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13053,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13053-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13053,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13053,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13053,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13053-2"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13053,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13053,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13053,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13053-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13053,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13053,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13053,\'joke\',3)',150)" id="joke13053-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13053"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13053').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13053;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13053='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13053/kalkulacka.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div class="item">
    <h3><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13052/voda.html" title="Voda " >Voda </a></h3>
    <div class="iimage"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13052/voda.html" title="Voda " ><img src="/filesystem/joke_ikona.png" alt="Voda " /></a></div>    <p>Chuck Norris vie rozpučiť vodu </p>
    <div class="infos">
        <span class="category"><a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" title="Vtipy">Vtipy</a> &#187; <a href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" title="Chuck Norris">Chuck Norris</a></span>
        <div class="irating" id="rating-joke-13052">
            <span id="container-joke13052"><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 1/4" onclick="saveScore(13052,'joke',1,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13052,'joke',1)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13052,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13052-1"/><img src="site_img/star-purple.png" alt="hodnotenie 2/4" onclick="saveScore(13052,'joke',2,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13052,'joke',2)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13052,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13052-2"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 3/4" onclick="saveScore(13052,'joke',3,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13052,'joke',3)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13052,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13052-3"/><img src="site_img/star-black.png" alt="hodnotenie 4/4" onclick="saveScore(13052,'joke',4,'false')" onmousemove="highlight(13052,'joke',4)" onmouseout="timeoutHandle=setTimeout('highlight(13052,\'joke\',2)',150)" id="joke13052-4"/></span>        </div>
    </div>
    <div class="fb" id="fbbtnjoke13052"><span class="inactiveFb" onmouseover="document.getElementById('fbbtnjoke13052').innerHTML=fbbtnjoke13052;"></span><script type="text/javascript">var fbbtnjoke13052='<iframe src="https://www.facebook.com/widgets/like.php?locale=sk_SK&send=false&amp;href=https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/p/13052/voda.html" scrolling="no" frameborder="0" style="display:inline-block;border:none; width:450px; height:25px;margin-top:0px"></iframe>';</script></div>
    <div class="placeholder"></div>
</div><div id="navigator"><span class="current"><b>1</b></span><span class="numeric_container"><a class="numeric" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/2/">2</a></span><span class="numeric_container"><a class="numeric" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/3/">3</a></span><span class="nav_next_container"><a  class="nav_next"  title="Nasledujúca" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/2/">&nbsp;<i>&gt;</i></a></span><span class="nav_last_container"><a class="nav_last" title="Posledná" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/58/">&nbsp;<i>&gt;&gt;</i></a></span></div><span id="addItemButton">Pridať príspevok</span>
<form method="post" action="" class="itemEdit" enctype="multipart/form-data">
<input type="hidden" name="unique" value="" />
<input type="hidden" name="MAX_FILE_SIZE" value="8388608" />
<fieldset>
<table>
<tr><td></td><td class="formCellName"><div id="itemEditTitle"><img src="https://www.vychytane.sk/simg_new/edit_icon.png" alt="ikona"/>Pridaj príspevok</div></td></tr><tr><td class="formCellName">Pridal: </td><td><input type="text" name="autor" value="" /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="formCellName">Cieľová kategória: </td><td><select name="category" id="cfcategory"><option title="alkohol" value="83">Alkohol</option><option title="auto-moto" value="86">Auto moto</option><option title="babky-a-dedkovia" value="215">Babky a dedkovia</option><option title="bankovnictvo" value="140">Bankovníctvo</option><option title="chuck-norris" value="137" selected="selected">Chuck Norris</option><option title="cierny-humor" value="100">Čierny humor</option><option title="hadanky" value="216">Hádanky</option><option title="haluze" value="226">Haluze</option><option title="hlasky" value="276">Hlášky</option><option title="kostol" value="128">Kostol</option><option title="medzinarodne" value="219">Medzinárodné</option><option title="medzinarodne o-prirode" value="310">Medzinárodné &raquo; O prírode</option><option title="murphyho-zakony" value="232">Murphyho zákony</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-domacnosti" value="295">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O domácnosti</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-motoristoch" value="296">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O motoristoch</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-mysleni" value="292">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O myslení</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-peniazoch" value="293">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O peniazoch</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-pocitacoch" value="297">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O počítačoch</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-podnikani" value="298">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O podnikaní</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-politike" value="299">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O politike</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-poriadku" value="300">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O poriadku</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-praci" value="301">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O práci</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-rodine" value="311">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O rodine</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-skole" value="303">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O škole</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-spolocnosti" value="302">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O spoločnosti</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-sporte" value="312">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O športe</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-vede-a-technike" value="294">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O vede a technike</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-volnom-case" value="304">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O voľnom čase</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-vyzore" value="305">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O výzore</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-zabave" value="306">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O zábave</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-zamestnani" value="307">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O zamestnaní</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-zdravi" value="308">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O zdraví</option><option title="murphyho-zakony o-zivote" value="309">Murphyho zákony &raquo; O živote</option><option title="nechutnosti" value="220">Nechutnosti</option><option title="neslusne" value="224">Neslušné</option><option title="nezaradene" value="26">Nezaradené</option><option title="o-blondinkach" value="139">O blondínkach</option><option title="o-cernochoch" value="225">O černochoch</option><option title="o-cestovani" value="99">O cestovaní</option><option title="o-detoch" value="87">O deťoch</option><option title="o-doktoroch" value="209">O doktoroch</option><option title="o-laske" value="221">O láske</option><option title="o-manzeloch" value="210">O manželoch</option><option title="o-mensinach" value="67">O menšinách</option><option title="o-muzoch" value="211">O mužoch</option><option title="o-policajtoch" value="213">O policajtoch</option><option title="o-pravnikoch" value="404">O právnikoch</option><option title="o-romoch" value="212">O rómoch</option><option title="o-sexe" value="217">O sexe</option><option title="o-somalcoch" value="218">O somálcoch</option><option title="o-svokrach" value="223">O svokrách</option><option title="o-teroristoch" value="236">O teroristoch</option><option title="o-vojakoch" value="138">O vojakoch</option><option title="o-zahorakoch" value="115">O záhorákoch</option><option title="o-zenach" value="222">O ženách</option><option title="o-zvieratach" value="23">O zvieratách</option><option title="politici" value="237">Politici</option><option title="pracovne" value="24">Pracovné</option><option title="pre-filozofov" value="25">Pre filozofov</option><option title="sport" value="62">Šport</option><option title="sudna-sien" value="143">Súdna sieň</option><option title="vyroky-zo-simpsonovcov" value="329">Výroky zo simpsonovcov</option><option title="zo-skoly" value="214">Zo školy</option><option title="zo-zivota" value="114">Zo života</option></select></td></tr>
<tr><td class="formCellName">Titulok: </td><td><input type="text" name="title" value="" id="item_edit_title"  /></td></tr>
<tr><td class="formCellName">Text: </td><td><textarea name="text" rows="8" cols="40"></textarea></td></tr>
<tr><td class="formCellName">Overovací reťazec<span style="color:red">(bez prvého znaku)</span>:</td><td><img src="captcha.php" style="vertical-align:top" alt="Captcha! Pokiaľ nie ste schopný prečítať z nejakého dôvodu text na tomto obrázku, kontaktujte nás prostredníctvom e-mailu." /> <input type="text" name="captcha" size="4" value="" /></td></tr></table>
<input type="submit" name="submitContent"  value="Pridať"/>
</fieldset></form>							</div>
			<!-- koniec jadro-->				<!-- zaciatok pravy panel -->
							<div id="middle-right-pane">
					<div id="right-top-shadow"></div>


										<div id="floating_ads">					</div>
				</div>
						<!--koniec pravy panel-->
		</div>
		<!-- koniec middle -->
		<div class="placeholder"></div>
	</div><!-- koniec kontainer main-->
	<div id="main-bottom"></div>	</div><!-- koniec site-->

<div class="footer-ads"><div class="fa-wrapper"><!-- BEGIN Mailoviny.sk ID 73--><br/>
   Doporučujeme: <a href="http://www.mailoviny.sk" title="Vtipy, Úvahy, Viete že...?, Hádanky" target="_blank">Mailoviny.sk</a> - <a href="http://www.vtipy.net" title="Vtipy" >nejlepší vtipy</a>
<br/><br/><!-- END Mailoviny.sk ID 73--></div></div>

	<div id="bottom-pages">
			<div id="bottom-container">
				<div id="pages-container">
					<!-- zaciatok prvy blok footer --><div><a href="https://www.vychytane.sk/p/kontaktne-informacie.html" title="Kontakt">Kontakt</a><br class="responsive-hide" /><a href="https://www.vychytane.sk/p/autorske-prava.html" title="Autorské práva">Autorské práva</a><br class="responsive-hide" /><!--<a href="spatna-vazba.html">Spätná väzba</a>--></div>
<!-- zaciatok druhy blok footer --><div><a href="https://www.facebook.com/Vychytanesk-193662187999" title="Facebook" target="_blank">Facebook <img style="margin-bottom: -4px;" width="16" src="simg_new/fb_big_ico.png" alt="Facebook"/></a><br class="responsive-hide" /><a href="https://www.vychytane.sk/p/partneri.html" title="Partneri">Partneri</a><br class="responsive-hide" /></div>
<!-- zaciatok treti blok footer --><div><span class="responsive-hide"><a href="https://videa.vychytane.sk/">Videá</a><br><a href="https://prislovia.vychytane.sk/">Príslovia</a></span></div>
<!-- zaciatok stvrty blok footer --><div>© Vychytané.sk 2007 - 2021</div><!-- koniec treti blok footer -->				</div>
				<!--<a id="finedesign" href="https://www.finedesign.sk" title="FINE design - Web prezentácie, Copywriting, Grafické práce, Reklamné kampane" target="_blank"><img src="simg_new/finedesign.png" alt="FINE design - Web prezentácie, Copywriting, Grafické práce, Reklamné kampane" /></a>-->
			</div>
	</div>
		<div id="footer">
		<div id="footer-container">
			<b>Partneri:</b><a href="http://www.zverokruh.sk" title="Zverokruh" target="_blank">Zverokruh</a> - <a href="http://hledej.edisk.cz" title="Edisk.sk" target="_blank">eDisk</a>		</div>
	</div>	
	</div>
<!-- BEGIN VYCHYTANE - GOOGLE ANALYTICS ID 9--><script>
  (function(i,s,o,g,r,a,m){i['GoogleAnalyticsObject']=r;i[r]=i[r]||function(){
  (i[r].q=i[r].q||[]).push(arguments)},i[r].l=1*new Date();a=s.createElement(o),
  m=s.getElementsByTagName(o)[0];a.async=1;a.src=g;m.parentNode.insertBefore(a,m)
  })(window,document,'script','//www.google-analytics.com/analytics.js','ga');

  ga('create', 'UA-1860334-4', 'auto');
  ga('send', 'pageview');

</script><!-- END VYCHYTANE - GOOGLE ANALYTICS ID 9--><!-- BEGIN GA - Vtipy ID 35--><script type="text/javascript">
var gaJsHost = (("https:" == document.location.protocol) ? "https://ssl." : "http://www.");
document.write(unescape("%3Cscript src='" + gaJsHost + "google-analytics.com/ga.js' type='text/javascript'%3E%3C/script%3E"));
</script>
<script type="text/javascript">
try {
var pageTracker = _gat._getTracker("UA-1860334-7");
pageTracker._trackPageview();
} catch(err) {}</script><!-- END GA - Vtipy ID 35-->	<!--BEGIN -->


<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/addContent.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript">
    XMLHttpActiveDomain = "https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/";
</script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" charset="utf-8" src="js/tooltip.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/poll.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/score.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/sharedFunctions.js"></script>
<script type="text/javascript" language="javascript" src="js/jquery.spicyselect.1.2.min.js"></script>

<link rel="home" href="https://www.vychytane.sk/" /><link rel="index" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/" /><!--[if lte IE 8]>
	<style>
	#featured_table{width:520px;}
	.featured{}
	#featured-desc{
	  border-radius:5px;
	  position:relative;
	  behavior:url('http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/styles/PIE.php');
	  
	}
	.featured{
	  border-radius:10px;
	  position:relative;
	   behavior:url('http://vtipy.vychytane.sk/styles/PIE.php');
}
	
	</style>
	<![endif]--> <link rel="first" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/" /><link rel="next" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/2/" /><link rel="last" href="https://vtipy.vychytane.sk/k/137/chuck-norris/s/58/" /><script language="javascript" type="text/javascript">
    duel_saving = false;
    function save_duel(caller_id, duel_type, item_id, defeated_id) {
        if (duel_saving) return;

        duel_saving = true;
        //alert('clicked '+caller_id+' duel type = '+duel_type+' item id = '+item_id);

        jQuery.get(XMLHttpActiveDomain + '/', {save_result: 'true', duel_type: duel_type, item_id: item_id, defeated_id: defeated_id}, function (r_data, textstatus, xhr) {
            if (r_data !== 'success')alert(r_data);
        });

    }

</script>
<!-- SITA -->
<!--<script type="text/javascript" src="http://sk.adocean.pl/files/js/ado.js"></script>-->
<!--<script type="text/javascript">-->
<!--    /* (c)AdOcean 2003-2013 */-->
<!--    if (typeof ado !== "object") {-->
<!--        ado = {};-->
<!--        ado.config = ado.preview = ado.placement = ado.master = ado.slave = function () {-->
<!--        };-->
<!--    }-->
<!--    ado.config({mode: "old", xml: false, characterEncoding: true});-->
<!--    ado.preview({enabled: true, emiter: "sk.adocean.pl", id: "sj6X3HeuNvibA.toVjLefLHn.mW.FDuB5IQLFRrGJS3.u7"});-->
<!--</script>-->

<!-- start master -->
<script type="text/javascript">
    /* (c)AdOcean 2003-2013, MASTER: webnoviny.sk.SOLO PARTNER.Vychytane */
//    ado.master({id: 'MkYK7Ob_ovPa4.iAkV7bqqsZ.OYzXP.2wB0MvXTgnBz.R7', server: 'sk.adocean.pl' });
</script>
<!--  end master  -->	<!-- / SITA -->

<script language="javascript" type="text/javascript">
    var selects = $('#orderselect');
    selects.change(function(){
    window.location=$(this).val();
    });
    selects.spicyselect();

</script>


<!-- Begin Cookie Consent plugin by Silktide - http://silktide.com/cookieconsent -->
<script type="text/javascript">
    window.cookieconsent_options = {"message":"Na zlepšenie našich služieb používame cookies.","dismiss":"OK","learnMore":"","link":null,"theme":"light-bottom", "domain": ".vychytane.sk" };
</script>
<script type="text/javascript" src="//cdnjs.cloudflare.com/ajax/libs/cookieconsent2/1.0.9/cookieconsent.min.js"></script>
<!-- End Cookie Consent plugin -->


</body>
<!--
$ SYSINFO
generated:	1628195469 =  Thu, 05 Aug 2021 22:31:09 +0200
duration:	0.0873310565948
memory: 2.45memory: 2.18
$
-->
</html>